I came across an astonishing
outburst on Facebook the other day. OK, so this is Facebook, where astonishing
outbursts are two a penny, but this one took my breath away.
In scrolling down my wall, I
noticed a post in capitals. [Now, I used to write all my email subject lines in
capitals, which I thought gave them emphasis, until a business colleague
pointed out I was considered to be shouting, so I stopped.] This post was one
of three from an author [whom I’m not going to name] informing her followers
that unless they not only read her blog posts, but commented on them, she was
going to unfriend them. She’d had it with ‘hangers-on’ and they could ‘take a
hike’!
As a writer myself, I know where
she’s coming from and can understand her frustration. I’ve written blog posts
that have included questions at the end; I’ve sat waiting for responses to
flood in (although even a trickle would be nice); I’ve wondered if the
deafening silence means people hate what I’ve written, or just aren’t
interested enough to respond, or haven’t actually found me in the crowded
blogosphere.
But as a business woman I was
horrified. Writers rely on readers and potential readers not only for primary sales,
but unbiased book reviews, recommendations and repeat sales. John Wanamaker,
one of the early proponents of marketing is believed to have been the
originator of the phrase: "Half the money I spend on advertising is
wasted; the trouble is I don't know which half." The same can be said of
any marketing or promotional activities. We just don’t know how effective
anything we do really is. But I think it’s a safe bet that telling people to go
away if they’re not reacting the way we want them to is NOT a good promotional
tactic.
I was also shocked by the
rudeness of the messages. I do not know this author personally and do not
solicit links with unknown people; therefore the only way I could have ended up
on her list is through responding to a request from her. So, she invited me
into her world in the first place. Now she was threatening to expel me because
I didn’t behave exactly as she required. Result? I posted a polite message
pointing out why I thought her approach was wrong — and left.
Writers write for many reasons:
for ourselves, for family, for other people, for fame, for fortune [good luck
with that one!] but often, just because we have to; the words won’t stay in our
heads any longer.
No-one has the right to demand anything of readers. So while I hope lots of people read this post and it would be nice if some of you leave a comment afterwards, I promise I won't shout at you if you don't!
As someone with 152 followers on Facebook, a rant like this author's would end my social media presence completely. I wouldn't mind the luxury of being able to tell my critics to take a long walk on a short pier, but readers? I have three fans and I'm clinging on to them for dear life!!!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, Natasha. No-one owes anything and we have to make everyone feel welcome or they will move on to somewhere else.
DeleteGosh, I'm shocked too. What strange behaviour. Upper case is Very Bad Manners. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd what surprised me, Cathie, was how many of her 'friends' posted "oh no, you don't mean me do you? sorry I haven't been talking to you" messages. Only one person, before me, questioned the thread. Mind you after me, there were others who said the same thing. And I suspect there were quite a few who just disappeared without a word.
DeleteI also unfriended this woman. Rude... I hate bullies!
ReplyDeleteAnd unfortunately, Bernadine, social media seems to have spawned quite a lot of them.
DeleteSometimes you do feel you are blogging into the void, but I expect somebody out there is reading it. Response to a post can also be be gauged by how many people have Tweeted it to sent it to FB or Google +.
ReplyDeleteWhile writers are perfectly at liberty to coax, entice, tease, inform and entertain readers, it's really not done to diss them.
Apart from the bad manners aspect, it makes little commercial sense.
And bloggers should ask themselves this question: who am I actually writing for?
True, Alison. Twitter in particular lends itself to what the marketeers term the CTA (call to action): click here for... etc. and a question at the end of a blog is the same thing. But the only penalty in not responding to the CTA should be to miss out on whatever's on offer.
DeleteWhat a lunatic!!! I've seen similar behaviour; one woman was complaining about writers only advertising their books and not engaging with her. I said, well, start conversations, comment on things. She said she'd tried, and no-one took the bait. She then wrote a blog post about how selfish all these writers were for only advertising their books and not talking to her. I commented, suggesting that telling people off via a blog post was possibly not the best way to gain online friendships. She didn't reply. I suspect she had other issues!!!
ReplyDeleteAs far as getting your blog posts read, the onus is on the writer, isn't it? Do a really good tweet/headline that makes people want to click on that link, and, when they get there, make sure the content is of interest so that they comment/pass on/read other posts by you. I'm amazed by how unexciting some people's tweets are. Some actually just put 'new blog post', then the link..... yes, you and 100,000 others this week, mate!!! I'm glad you told that twitterer what you thought was wrong with her approach; if she's that much of a self-absorbed nutter she'll probably just dismiss it anyway, though!
By the way - great post!
Thanks Terry. I sometimes struggle to make a good enough point in Tweets, but certainly there's room in a FB post to sell oneself.
DeleteI can spend days thinking I'm talking to myself or posting into a void and then, suddenly, the conversations flow. I've touched on the right subject, or found someone with a similar interest. As Terry says above, the onus is on the writer. A great post, Elizabeth.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jan. The posts that have generated the most discussion (up until now) have been my gripes about poor grammar - and the time when I said I was never going to read any more Dickens! It's absolutely about hitting the right subject.
DeleteThat's terrible. She doesn't deserve any followers. Regarding your posts... I always enjoy them even if I don't leave a comment. So thank you.
ReplyDeleteThanks Lay-Anne; that's good to hear.
ReplyDeleteSorry Kay-Anne, just realised I mis-spelt your name last time; should proof-read before posting :-)
DeleteI'm mystified by the conciliatory comments you mentioned this writer getting. I can't imagine anyone in my life reacting that way if I behaved similarly - even my best friends would probably call me up to scold me into taking down the post!
ReplyDeleteYes, that was an aspect I found really strange too. There was a distinct element of 'please don't scold me; I'll be good'!
DeleteI can only agree with your post and the following comments. Speaking as a reader only and as a customer in general, as soon as someone tells me that I must do something I'm off in the other direction.
ReplyDeleteAs for bemoaning the lack of people talking to you - needy is not a good look :-)
Yes, Sheila, I agree. In the past, I've been a member of a couple of FB groups that try to insist their members participate. I didn't stay there long either.
DeleteI guess these are the kind of people in real life who are the bores who talk AT you, show no interest in you as a person and only want you as an audience to their one-sided, self-interested conversation. As for listening..
ReplyDeleteBeing a bit of a social media newbie, I attended a few free workshops on the subject before Christmas - the message was very simple: the same rules of being 'social' apply - good manners, good listening and polite engagement. You can't demand anyone's attention - you can only give out what you hope to get back and your 'friends' will find you. Nice post :D
Thanks for your comments. Very good point about the same rules applying online as off; the same goes when sending emails - I always stop and think "would I be prepared to say this on the phone or face-to-face?"
DeleteA very good article. It's hard enough to build a reader base and following with words of encouragement. But to chastise those same people is just so wrong. I completely understand their frustration and feel like I'm in the same boat. However, I just keep plugging away, without threats because it's not worth my time or energy to make threats. I'd rather have comments made freely than to force them.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the feedback. I think we all understand the frustration; it's just that there are different ways of dealing with it.
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